Physics 2.0©

Are you sick and tired of the old saying 'what goes up must come down'?

Do you wish every action didn't have such an equal and opposite reaction?

Have you ever tried to disobey the Laws of Motion?

Well have no fear!

Physics 2.0© is here!

Rebel Yell scientists have just created Physics 2.0©! We had our scientists slaving away over warm beakers and reasonably cool microscopes and in a matter of minutes (and one 80's future themed montage later) Physics 2.0© was born.

(Mostly synth with a touch of sax)

"Sure, but how does it help me?" I hear you scream. Well Physics 2.0© is here to help you by making what some old fuddy duddies have deemed impossible!

 I'm looking at YOU, Newton.

Originally the scientists set out to create a gun with zero recoil, but it wasn't long into their research that it was deemed "impossible" under the suffocating laws of physics, set in place by the scholars of old.

This might of been a problem for a lesser nation, a weaker nation, a nation without moustaches and suspenders but it certainly wasn't a problem for Rebel Yell.

Our science team had a quick brainstorming session including mind maps, power point presentations, the lot.

It was then they came up with the idea of disposing of the out-of-date laws of physics and  made up their own.

 "Any ideas?"

 So, the impossible is now possible.

And again, Rebel Yell Nation has bucked the trend, said no to conformity, and done what we want.

Enjoy, 

- The Rebel Yell Science and Kite Surfing dept.

Scrappy sues Mystery Gang over breach of contract!

(Known for his violence scrappy has recently divorced his wife over recorded phone conversations)

For a long time Scrappy-Doo was part of our lives as a loveable extension to Scooby-Doos crew, the cousin of Scooby brought some much needed muscle to the mystery solving group. Relationships have turned sour as Fred recently stated that Scrappy will not be joining in on the new series, sighting him to be "the Jar Jar Binks of our show," and, "an over articulate  chihuahua who slept with my wife,"

Scrappy is suing the group but public opinion is not on his side, after many anti-semantic rants and condemning audio tape of spousal abuse Scrappy is an outcast in Hollywood. 

"He can't get another job, he never has, he only got buy supplying smack to Shaggy and the group has always resented him for that," Said the groups manager Irving Rothschild.

"They have no right to exclude me, I made that group and i want compensation, i don't think people will be interested in this new series without me," Said Scrappy in a brief press statement,

The hearing starts next year.

Scooby- Doo gang to announce reunion tour.

(Shaggy consuming food to cover his battle with heroin)

The Seventies were a vibrant time, a time of discos and punk, a time of disillusioned hippies and brown kitchen ware.

So when four hippies and their dog decided to move away from the hard drugs that characterized the early seventies, solving mysteries came naturally to them. "Once we came down off the LSD it didn't seem as good an idea as originally, but we had already painted the van," Said Velma, the only Lesbian in the group. 

The group then embarked on a extremely successful career spanning three decades,  their mystery solving credentials were never challenged and a lucrative reality television contract came after the first few successes. 

It wasn't all glamor though, while the rest of the group had kicked the drugs, Shaggy still battled with his personal addiction. "It was hard, he was clean whenever we were on the job, he would eat alot but thats normal when your trying to kick the habit, but as soon as the work stopped he would take Scooby someplace and get high, he was a classic addict." Said Fred, who is releasing an auto-biography within the year.

The group announced their return to the mystery solving scene a month ago,  "Money just slips through my fingers, what with this financial crisis man... i can't even afford Scooby snacks man," Said Shaggy.

Backing the Mystery Machine is a large Insurance company who have over ten thousand fraud cases to deal with each year, the Cameras will be following the guy's again but this time it will be much more slick.

"There's no more jamming, none of us will be picking up instruments, Scrappy won't be participating, he's filed suit but he hasn't got a leg to stand on, he can talk but he's still a dog," Said Daphne.

The first episode will screen on Fox in three months.

British using deformed spy to assassinate a Russian deformed spy.

(Yes, hilarious, they both have explosive devices that would kill everybody in a twenty meter radius, but hey who needs short range weaponry? )

It has been discovered that a British trained intelligence officer with a deformed triangle shaped face has been assigned to the task of counter intelligence operations surrounding a Russian spy with an equally deformed triangle face. These two very recognizable spies have been attempting to assassinate each other in  a very unorthodox manor for the intelligence community.
"It used to be that we would only attempt an assassination if we knew it would be successful, and only then with very discreet means, it seems strange that the FSB and M- I6 would choose to use explosives and anvils in their espionage training." Said former KGB officer Vladamir Ruskov.

The two spies blew their cover last Tuesday when the Russian spy was seen suspending a grand piano  over a busy footpath, when questioned by police he only made a high pitched noise before running away. It was then that the British spy was sent to capture him, when investigating the grand piano it fell from it's suspension and injured the M-I6 operative. Since Tuesday the two unsubtle spies have been having a brutal war with neither side giving up.

"Whats odd is both have sustained what i would think are fatal injuries, they are using high explosive traps and very close range, but it seems their horrible deformities deflect the blasts," stated a medical official.

One thing is for sure, these spies aren't funny.

Stu.

Buy our crap.

The Rebel Yell Nation now has merchandise.

Support Rebel Yell in it's rise to power with a snappy new tee or maybe even a beer glass!

The choice is yours! (The choice not to buy is not.)

You can browse the shop by clicking here! or here!

http://www.zazzle.com/rebel_yell_nation

Buy our stuff today!

 

The Magic of Rebel Yell.

The Rebel Yell Nation is known for many things, it's Space Program, The National Moustache Museum, The Worlds Largest Hammer, etc.

A true national monument.

But I bet you didn't know Rebel Yell is home to some of the most amazing magicians of all time.

With names like Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu, John 'The Magician' Smith (one the most creative and exciting magicians of all time, R.I.P, keep on chasing rainbows) and The King of the Wizards all residing here. It's no wonder that on the underground magician scene they call this place the 'Rebel Yell Nation'.

 

A brief history of Magic in Rebel Yell Nation.

In the early years of the Rebel Yell Nation any one found or believed to be practising magic was burned at the stake and had their ashes thrown into a swamp.

It wasn't until Sir. I. C. Nowe discovered that behind all this 'magic' was just sleight of hand and trickery, that the burning and ash-swamping law was changed. Now anyone found or believed to be practising is just avoided.

The burnings were quite the spectacle, often they would make the magicians wear a silly hat for more laughs.

Famous Magicians.

Rebel Yell, after the magician burning law was changed, became a quite famous for it's magicians when John 'The Magician' Smith burst onto the scene with his Coin-in-my-pocket trick, in which he would astound audiences by putting his hand into his pocket and removing a single coin. He would perform this on street corners to groups of people until he was found by entertainment manager Nerben Blampin, who despite his made up name, managed a few popular acts around Rebel Yell. It wasn't long before John Smith was performing in front of crowds of 10 or more. He had a large repertoire of magical tricks, but his signature was always his classic Coin-in-my-pocket trick, which to this day, knowboady can work out how he did it.

Out of his pocket! Can you believe it?

However, John Smith wans't the only famous magician to call Rebel Yell home, as previously mention Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu and The King of the Wizards all lived and worked in Rebel Yell. 

Gremlin famous for his dissapearing-pants routine, Pazuzu, his ability to drive manual cars without a license and the King of the Wizards famous for his work in the superb rock band, Sorcery.

The King of the Wizards mid-performance.

Magic has had a long and charred history in The Rebel Yell Nation, and it will has a longer future, unless of course another burning-magicians law is passed, and we can only hope.

Thanks for reading, 

Rebel Yell - Firearms, Alcohol, Tobacco and Magician History dept.


____

Rebel Yell Justice! Have you seen this man?

NAME: Jesus Christ

OFFENSES: Terrorism, Fraud, Stealing by receiving and being the leader of a gang conspiring to commit crimes against the Roman Government. 

In his last days Jesus was a paranoid captain of a sinking ship, his whole operation falling around him "one of you will betray me" he said wildly at the last feast of the famous thirteen. Judas, a former member of the group is now a state witness, "He was losing the plot, he thought we could bring the Government down in Jerusalem, I knew we were fucked, it was him or me." 

Jesus was amassing a serious following but made crucial errors by way of his ego. "The son of god? king of the Jews? it's like that Beatles thing" said a former follower. When Jesus was apprehended a whole garrison was required to take him in, only one soldier suffered injuries, loosing an ear in a scuffle with a close disciple of Jesus'. 

Jesus was tried not by the Roman Government but by his own people who found him guilty on all counts. He was Crucified. We didn't know who we were dealing with. In an oceans eleven style ruse, Jesus was given heart slowing medication before being removed from the cross by guards on the inside of his operation. After a time of rest he had the boulder removed from his tomb and escaped. He was reported floating up to the heavens some weeks later. Some few hundred years later he was seen again, this time in Rome, he is believed to have killed Emperor Constantine and posed as him converting the entire empire to his will. Without the support of their various pagan gods the Roman way of life collapsed. 

Jesus is still a threat to your way of life, he has more followers now than he ever did, his corruption can invade your sexual freedoms, your sense of humor, your right to party which the beastie boys career died for, if you know anything about him please phone us at Rebel, Rome, we will avenge you.

Real Property, Real Real-Estate

Let me guess, a three bedroom house with a deck and a trampoline and your in heaven, you can file your children in their respective rooms and let them govern themselves by way of the internet and Morris dancing. However we here at rebel yell don't think you should have to walk out your door and see how much better your neighbors retaining wall is than yours, we think it's time you gave the old "house" the boot.

 Sorry Hugh, back to being Fry's bitch.

 

No we here at Rebel yell think that small and therefore weak, fear not though beautiful subjects. Freaks.

We have alternatives! 

Why not move you and ten mates into a share house, just replace "mates" with peasants and "share house" with STAR FORT

 

This is a STAR FORT available for sale in a safe neighborhood, why is it safe? because of the cannons of course! Don't like your neighbor? force him to work on your land! how? the cannons of course! 

This wonderful piece of historic big dickery is available for the low low price of Gibraltar! Do you own Gibraltar or an equivalent vital port? why not trade?

PORTUGAL

Are you in the market for a rental? Well Spain has released it's lease on Portugal and we here at Rebel Yell have bought it up, we will rent this wonderful part of Europe for 3 lengths of gravel a month. 

Do you hate the stupid face of your neighbor? imagine trading him/her for Spain, it's like mexico but rich!

Portugal has long been known for its intimate relationship with the sea, this will not be approved of as part of the new tenants agreement. 

Are you prone to long bouts of temptation from Satan or unbelievable meetings with Allah?

Well we have a wonderful natural style living space that can only be described as a cave. 

We have to say it is a renovators nightmare, if you try to extend a room in this domicile you will find out what the meaning of structure bearing stalactite is! Yours to own for several installments of Koran.

Keep posted for more great Rebel Yell Real Estate!

Deep Space Rebel (Yell)

 How the Rebel Yell Nation got into Space 

(and what we did there.)

Space, deep space.
Millions of galaxy, trillions of stars (give or take).
And a lone Spaceship, The Redel.

It's called The Redel because, well long story short, there was some miscommunication between us and the painters, we didn't have time to repaint, so it stuck.

Also we forgot to take a picture pre-take off, this is all we have:

I was like "Take it with the camera sideways, so you get a taller picture!" And he's all "Nah, this'll be right."

So I will give you a quick description of The Redel.

It was as phallic in nature, as it was in spirit. Two large spherical boosters on back, a long shaft-like, cylindrical body, and a hemisphere cock-pit at the front.

But there was nothing funny about this ship, (aside from it's resemblance to a cock) as it was extremely powerful and capable of the impossible light-speed. It could thrust through the vagina of space with precision and ease.

The Rebel Yell Space Program

Rebel Yell's space program is the one of the most expensive, extensive and expansive.

It has already begun moon colonization, and The Redel is the first deep space explorer craft ever.

The program was founded after The Superkings were persuaded (see; conned) into buying some moon property. Not long after, they realised the futility of this newly purchased land, and began The Rebel Yell Space Program, to make some use of their moon property, which they almost have. And with that the program continues to grow each and everyday.

 Rebel Yell owns pretty much that section.

What about The Redel?

The Redel has been exploring deep space for 5 years now, which might sound strange considering they were only launched 1 year ago. During their exploration they came across a 'ReTardis', which according to their explanation was a giant old English phone box, which they flew the ship straight into and re-emerged at the same place but 4 years earlier.

Having the power to go at warp speed has increased the possibilities of space exploration infinitely.

So The Redel has many a story. That of other life forms, amazing worlds, other cool stuff.

All of which will be revealed in the Blog series - The Redel.

So look out for it.

The Rebel Yell Space Program.

Hell ain't a bad place!

 So, you're thinking about going to hell?

 A helpful brochure brought to you by Hell and Rebel Yell.

Hell, everyone’s heard of hell, it’s where you burn for your sins, and you're tortured for eternity, also there’s heaps of fire!

Welcome!

Well despite what you’ve heard, Hell ain’t a bad place!

Hell gets a bad wrap, and no body wants to go there anymore, that’s why The Dark Lord, Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Old Hob, The Prince of Darkness himself has decided to give the Underworld an image reboot!

A little known fact is that Ridley Scott's Legend is a perfect depiction of Satan.

 Frequently Asked Stuff:

“Working off my sins in eternal hell fire for all eternity sounds terrible!”

Well, that’s the old hell, now the forced labor works just like a full-time job on earth! You earn holidays, work steady hours and have recess and lunch breaks! (Overtime optional)

Now I can work off my sins and have a personal life!

 “Wow! But what about all the fire, is that still there, I hate the heat!”

Yes, the fire’s still there, but we now have Fujitsu Air Conditioners, Hell’s favourite air!
So the prettiness and illumination of the flame still remains, while you work at a comfortable temperature!

 Note: Fujitsu has no association with Hell or Rebel Yell whatsoever

“Hmm, sounds too good to be true, is there TV?”

Of course!
Featuring programs like:  

Cooking with the Antichrist
Two’s Company, Three’s Hell! 
Hey, Jesus! 
and 
The View!

 Ok, there is still a little bit of torture in Hell.

“I can’t wait to go to Hell! But what about my birthday?”

Funny you should ask, ever heard the expression ‘War is Hell’?
Well now it can be in one of five themed party rooms for birthdays and anniversaries!

The themes being:

War
Underwater (Satan’s personal favourite)
Prison
Post-Apocalyptic
and
Outer Space

Satan just can't get enough of the Underwater Theme Room!

“Sound’s great, I love Hell!”

Great stuff, kid!

What else can I do?

There are so many activities that you can participate in during your days off and spare time!

You can ‘burn’ off those extra pounds in the Hellfire Gym.

Play a selection of your favourite sports and recreate in the Sport and Recreation Area.

And so much more!

So next time you’re thinking about repenting on your deathbed, remember this pamphlet and consider coming ‘down town’ to The Underworld.

Hell, it’s where all the cool people go when they die!


_____

Jesus, you call that a miracle?

Jesus.

Some of you might know him from the bible, some of you might have seen him hanging from a wall in your local church but most of us know him from his 80's sitcom Hey, Jesus!

It was definitely a real show.

What did Jesus do?

Jesus, in his time with us on Earth, had some wacky adventures (watch Hey, Jesus! for more details) and on more than one occasion these began with or involved miracles. These weren't everyday 'bickering-couple-reconciles-for-child's-sake' or 'prostitute-sees-the-error-in-her-ways-and-becomes-a-lawyer' crap miracles, Jesus performed some pretty great miracles. This article will list 5 of his miracles that you might not know about.

I can't remember if I mentioned that he had heat-vision... anyway, he does.

What he did.

1. TURNS WATER INTO STEAM


Now everyone who watched Hey, Jesus! saw the episode when Jesus turned all the drinking water at his high school into wine, the scene when the Principal was drunk was a classic. 
It's a staple Jesus story, but little do people know before he was getting people drunk he was turning liquid water into a gas!
That's right, Jesus was turning regular everyday water into a hot mist using only a stove-top! It was Jesus' first big miracle but is often overlooked in place of number 2 on this list.

 You can't fake that.

2. TURNS WATER INTO ICE


Yes, another water based miracle, Jesus worked heavily with water early on in his career, it was kind of his shtick.
Jesus stunned and amazed the masses by taking a glass of fresh rain water and placing it in a freezer, a good few hours later it was frozen solid! Can you believe that? A lot of people at the time didn't, and assumed in the shows intermission, he was swapping out the water and replacing it with some pre-frozen ice. Many people were losing faith in him but this theory was debunked when someone sat and watched the whole thing, not leaving for a break once. The bored man confirmed it's validity and Jesus was again held in high regard.

 He may or may not have had anything to do with Ice-Cube.

3. FLOATS ON WATER


This was the predecessor to his walking on water miracle, and is an old favourite with many a fan, considered to be the best of his water miracles, though it was met with tragedy.
One warm morning Jesus waded his way into a lake, people slowly gathered as they new something was up. Jesus doggy paddled around a little and the to the amazement of the crowd, he spread his arms and legs and stayed afloat in the water. He laid on his back on the lake, bobbing with the ripples, where he remained for about a minute. On his return to the shore, people cheered and clapped him, Jesus took a bow and was thanking the people when someone cried out that there was a young boy attempting the float. Jesus spun around to see the boy flailing about.
"Noooooooooooooo!" Jesus yelled in slow motion, running back into the water, but it was too late, the boy had drowned. However it wasn't long until everybody forgot about the boy, and Jesus' miracle was celebrated further.

If only they had been watching the kid...

4. FINDS IMAGE OF SELF ON BURNT TOAST


One morning the small village of The Bible was woken to the sounds of Jesus yelling:
"Hey, come check this out!"
It was Jesus, so everyone did as ordered, no one wanted to miss the chance of another miracle. They were met with Jesus holding a slice of toast, which, upon further inspection, had an image of Jesus on it. It was amazing, everybody cheered, that is everybody but a small group of grouches who said that Jesus could of just scraped the picture onto the the toast with a knife. This caused a stir amongst fans, some believing he did, some not. It was his second controversial miracle. One accuser attempted to redraw the miracle toast picture but kept scraping off too much of the burnt bit and gave up saying:
"I guess it probably was a miracle."
And again, Jesus had all his fans back, they believed once more.

Actual Jesus toast, with a lamp behind it.

5. BEAT SKI-FREE


This is Jesus' third, final and most controversial miracle of all. Jesus finshed the (near) impossible game that is Ski-Free.
This miracle is so controversial as no one, other than Jesus, saw it happen. Now many people say it must be true, Jesus has no reason to lie, I mean he's turning water into ice for goodness sakes. Jesus says:
"Near the end I was going real quick and I hit a ramp right near the end and got over the yeti."
Seems legit enough, but some conspiracy theorists say that there isn't a jump near the yeti and the speed attainable on the slopes isn't sufficient to out run the Yeti.
So no one truly knows the legitimacy of this miracle, you just have to make up your own mind.

 What? You gonna say I didn't win? Look at this crown.

And there you have it, five miracles of Jesus you probably didn't even know.


Rebel Yell - Faiths and Pantheons Dept.

Rebel Yell Studies presents... Microwave Time.

 Microwave Time.

Now i'm sure we're all aware of the saying 'Time flies when you're having fun' but never has the flip-side of this well known saying been so true as with Microwave Time. Never has 3 minutes taken as long as it has to cook those noodles. Rebel Yell studies will explain this phenomenom as we throw all previous flawed time theories out the window, sort of.

If microwaves were around back then, this is what Abe would look like waiting for his pizza to re-heat.

Micro-what?!

The Microwave Oven was brought to our homes in 1967. It was designed as an alternate and much faster way to eliminate Gremlins than the conventional oven. It has become a household standard these days for it's convenience and ease of use, you could just trap a Gremlin in it, set it to around 2 minutes (depending on the size) and BOOM, dead Gremlin. Alternatively you could heat up food in it.

They HATE microwaves. 

 Why are we waiting?

Now it is true that the Microwave will heat things up quicker than the conventional oven but, you see, the Microwave works on it's own alternate time. The minutes on a Microwave countdown are even slower than that of a watched clock. 

For example, if you are cooking a pie at 3 mintues in the Microwave, you have time to use the toliet, have a drink, check facebook and pace impatiently and will still have 1.50 left on the countdown, where as if you had 5 minutes untill you needed to leave the house, taking a slash and grabbing a drink will have you leaving 5 minutes late! 

 How it works, probably.

What does this mean?

In an attempt to harness the phenomenom that is Microwave Time, Rebel Yell Studies had someone go to bed with a microwave on his bed side table and upon waking setting it to 30 minutes to see if his sleep in felt much longer. However, the subject never got back to us.

So at the moment there is nothing we can do with this strange occurence, maybe sometime in the future in the year 2019, but until then lets all just respect the magical Microwave and enjoy a delicious Microwave pork roast!

Note; microwave roasts not reccomended.

Meat! a few things you may not have known!!!

Once upon a time meat was unknown to the average Joe, like fulfilled election promises it remained but a rarity, a romantic idea that few ever saw become reality.  The history of how meat came crashing down onto the peoples plates in a bloody and glorious mess is an epic tale of revolution, both political and industrial.

Chicken Nuggets

You might have even forgotten about them but don’t worry they are here to stay.

Once upon a time chicken was spread uselessly around the bones of stupid and weak flightless birds such as chickens. It was Sir Adam McNugget, in 1805, who had the idea of compressing this ridiculous animal in to manageable bite sized holocaust. The story goes that when Sir McNugget thought it would be funny to put his most disliked factory laborer’s hand in some machinery it tore it into chunks that were easy to consume. The poor and starving laborer would testify to this later having been interviewed years after.  ‘I didn’t have any food, and there were these bits of my hand, slightly cooked by the machinery, it didn’t even matter that it consisted mainly of veins and pulpy flesh, in fact, that’s where all the charm was,’.

Sir McNugget immediately changed his Victorian chimney sweep factory into a streamlined chicken slaughter-fest, the rest as they say… is history.

Parmigiana

The story of how an Italian sauce found itself vomited upon ever corner pub side walk in the world.

It was when Sicilian born Salvatore Parmigiana killed all five of his thoroughly annoying sisters that he was sentenced to 3 weeks in prison, a sentence that he served four days of before making parole. Upon returning to his family home he saw that nobody had cooked him dinner, his mother was sick and the other women were dead. Having no experience in cooking he immediately killed every animal on the family farm as he could not decide which one would taste best, also he was Sicilian. After chopping each animal up into manageable sizes he poured a combination of canned tomato, garlic and cheese on top. When the police chief popped in, as he often did, he was invited to choose from chicken, beef or state witness Parmigiana. The rest as they say… is history.

Fish.

A chilling example of what can happen if all food came from the sea.

The fish is a cruel mistress, one minute it’s beer battered and sitting next to a soon to be tipped vat of salt, the next it’s standing in the way of your burger on good Friday, daring you to defy its indecipherable tradition. But few people know that fish comes from the sea, a place where, as far as our research can tell, has little in the way of cattle or guiness. Fish can also be found in Sushi but our research has also shown that you can’t enjoy sushi unless you are female or a male that wears a scarf.

The Burger

Scientists aren’t the only thing pilfered from Germany by the U.S

Everybody knows that the Third Reich was developing Hamburgers from the late 20s but the technology was impotent without American based sauce technology. When Professor Von Straussengerman fled war time Germany to escape prosecution at the hands of rationing. Hitler had ordered that only so much meat be allocated to warm sandwich based research, knowing his life’s research could be destroyed the professor contacted MI6. Immediately recognizing the potential power of such a device MI6 had him flown to a secret research centre in the U.S. When the burger hit American shelves the war was virtually over for the axis powers not having realized the commercial potential of such a thing.

More to follow!

Rebel Yell Studies presents...

The Lost Pick Theory.

Anyone who has ever played guitar, bass or other picked instrument will know the extreme frustration of dropping a pick, also known as a plectrum, and have it meld into the carpet or become lost deep under the bed/couch/desk. It is tortuous. The Lost Pick Theory, or LPT as it shall be referred to from now on, attempts to explain this painful phenomenon and it's workings.

LTP also explains the loss of any small dropped item, like; key's, remotes, nail clippers, mobile phones etc. The science is the same.

"Hang on, i'll just gra.. Oh what the fuck? I only just dropped it there!"

LTP

Stage 1: The Drop

The initial action of dropping the item is the most vital stage of the LPT. The position of landing and further movement is entirely dependant on one's vision of the object. If you are, at the time of dropping, looking at the item, said item will fall naturally and, more often than not, as expected. However, if said item is out of view, it will land in such a way that it will shoot off in a ridiculous fashion and continue on to the next stage.

LPT when item is in view

Stage 2: The Tumble

The tumble is the stage in which the item will venture forth from it's landing location. The item's size or weight has no bearing on it's tumble. Stress, frustration and necessity are the only relavent factors. If one is cool, calm, collected and/or in no hurry the tumble will be minor, however if the dropped item is your last pick, or something you need in a hurry, the tumble will be obscenely infuriating. The principal behind this is Murphy's Law (now officially deemed a 'science' in the Rebel Yell nation).

LTP when item is out of view

Stage 3: The Fumble

This stage only occurs after the fumble, and will not occur if the dropped item was in view. The fumble is the stage of trying to find where the dropped item has gotten too. It can last for quite a while depending on the victim. Though in most cases, accepting the loss is the most beneficial, health wise, solution as a tumbled pick will, 9 times out of 10, never be found again, and prolonged searching will only increase frustration and anger. Other dropped items will almost always show up, but will not be easily located.

 "I seriorsly doubt it would be all the way out h... Oh, there it is."

The actual permanent loss of pick's can be determined by the sub-theorum; Chameleon Pick Theory, CPT. However this does only count for plectrums.

Chameleon Pick Theory

Picks are infamous for being invisible to the human eye when on carpet. This is because all picks have a chameleon gene, and are capeable of changing the colour of themselves to match the surrounding carpet. They are the only shaped plastic object capeable of such a feat, and probably the only non-sentient or non-programmed thing able to do it at all.

See if you can spot the pick.

Yours truly, 

     The Rebel Yell science team.

Diaries of a Paragoomba.

 Griswald Junior's Diary
The Diary of a Paragoomba.

September 20th, 1988: 
     It's my first day at the B.A.T.C.G.D. That's the Bowser's Army Training Camp: Goomba Division. I've always wanted to be in the army, like my father, Griswald, who unfortunately was killed in action. Hit with a stray Koopa Troopa shell. It feels good to be here though, serving my overlord.

     Today we were all run through an obstacle course and given a bunch of forms to fill out. I wonder which division i'll be put in, they said we'd find out tomorrow, I can't wait to find out. I hope they put me in the Paragoomba squad, just like Dad.



September 20th, 1988:
     YES! I've been selected for the Paragoomba division. Father would be so proud. Tomorrow we get our wings and we begin our training course. All of the Para division are now together in the same barracks, i've met a couple cool Goomba's already. The goomba I share a bunk with is Gerhard, he's from Ice Land. He's nice but his Goomish is a little broken, it's pretty funny. Most of the other Goomba's are from Grass Land like me, but there's a couple from Pipe Land and Water Land too.



September 21st, 1988:
     I got my wings today, they're awesome. A couple of the goomb's have already started giving their wings a personal touch, for example Gary, he's a fast talking cool goomb from Grass Land, has drawn a naked Goomba girl on his wings with the words 'light brown and comin' down' underneath. I don't really get it, but it probably means something to him. Oh and the Sarge is a real hard-ass, but he's good at what he does.

October 3rd, 1988: 
     We've been training for nearly 2 weeks now, it's tougher than i'd imagined, but i'm keeping up great. We're doing lots of drops and jumps, i'm almost best in our group, though Gerhard is a little better, but I don't let him know that. The Sarge is giving all of us greif, but i'm sure he's proud of our progress.

The Sarge and I, running some drills.

October 6th, 1988:
     We'v all just been given notice that we will be serving as early as next month. It's a little frightening, I mean, we've not even had 3 weeks training, but if the sarge thinks we're up to it, I guess we must be. The other guys are a bit nervous too, Gerhard was just telling me the other day about how he's just had a kid with his new wife, Gerri, and that when he leaves the army he was gonna be a photographer. We've got a a couple weeks of hard training ahead of us, but i'm ready for it.

Some of Gerhard's artsy photography

October 16th, 1988:

      It turns out that we're leaving for duty in just one week! None of us expected this, not even the sarge, but we're now just learning about our objective, and what we've got to do. We're gonna be on patrol in a small area of Desert Land, near one of Bowser's castles. Word is that... Mario... is planning on heading through there soon. Just writing his name makes me so mad, because of him my father is dead. This is why I really joined the army. Revenge.

October 22nd, 1988:

     We're all packed up and ready to get on the plane tomorrow, we haven't had much time to prepare but we're ready.

October 23rd, 1988:

     Ok, we jump out of the plane in about 1 hour, so this'll be my last entry till we set up a command post after patrol, i'm ready to kick some Mario arse...

_____________________________________

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Rebel Yell presents: The Fairy Twins!

THE FAIRY TWINS!

The Fairy Twins is the latest movie from Rebel Yell productions.
Featuring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Vin Diesel, in this hilarious new comedy.  

Bubbo (Dwayne Johnson) and his twin fairy brother Zonk (Vin Diesel) have broken the sacred fairy rule, no abusing drugs and alcohol, and now they've been sent to the big city to complete a quest to prove their worth. The Fairy king (Jason Alexander) has told the Fairy Twins they must go and do 3 good things for the humans, only trick is, they can't reveal their true identity. Hilarity ensues! They get up to such things as trying to cross a busy road, trying to fit into today's modern society, also they try and change a nappy!

 Dwayne Johnson                                    Vin Diesel

When you're Fairy Twins not everything goes to plan!

Coming out 11/11/2011 (probably not)

Keep listening folks!

Every Sunday at 3 on edge radio 99.3fm

you can stream that shit

http://www.edgeradio.org.au/listen.php

Presidential Visit to Rebel Yell

The world is still shocked today after the astounding news that the President of soup will be visiting Rebel Yell on an official tour of the kingdom. President Fully Loaded Man will be arriving by super kayak (a ground kayak with a fan on the back) and will be expected to bring his minister for Elvis, that guy in the Elvis suit.

"It will be a meeting about soup essentially, I have many many fully loaded cans and they are just amazing," Said President Fully Loaded Man in a skydiving interview.

"We have much to discuss with the President," announced Super King of Rebel Yell, Azza " We need to know why not many of us really enjoyed chunky beef soup before and why it is so fucking good now," 

Experts believe that the Presidents international policy of being really cool and having a theme song teams up well with his domestic policy of being choc full of soup and meet and or pasta.

President Fully Loaded Man will be in Rebel Yell for three days before havin a go a pumpkin soup.