Rebel Yell

Rebel Yell is a propagana blog designed to make you feel ways about stuff. Stu and Azza

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hell ain't a bad place!

 So, you're thinking about going to hell?
 A helpful brochure brought to you by Hell and Rebel Yell.

Hell, everyone’s heard of hell, it’s where you burn for your sins, and you're tortured for eternity, also there’s heaps of fire!

Welcome!

Well despite what you’ve heard, Hell ain’t a bad place!

Hell gets a bad wrap, and no body wants to go there anymore, that’s why The Dark Lord, Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, Old Hob, The Prince of Darkness himself has decided to give the Underworld an image reboot!

A little known fact is that Ridley Scott's Legend is a perfect depiction of Satan.

 Frequently Asked Stuff:

“Working off my sins in eternal hell fire for all eternity sounds terrible!”


Well, that’s the old hell, now the forced labor works just like a full-time job on earth! You earn holidays, work steady hours and have recess and lunch breaks! (Overtime optional)

Now I can work off my sins and have a personal life!


 “Wow! But what about all the fire, is that still there, I hate the heat!”

Yes, the fire’s still there, but we now have Fujitsu Air Conditioners, Hell’s favourite air!
So the prettiness and illumination of the flame still remains, while you work at a comfortable temperature!

 Note: Fujitsu has no association with Hell or Rebel Yell whatsoever


“Hmm, sounds too good to be true, is there TV?”

Of course!
Featuring programs like:  

Cooking with the Antichrist
Two’s Company, Three’s Hell! 
Hey, Jesus! 
and 
The View!
 Ok, there is still a little bit of torture in Hell.


“I can’t wait to go to Hell! But what about my birthday?”


Funny you should ask, ever heard the expression ‘War is Hell’?
Well now it can be in one of five themed party rooms for birthdays and anniversaries!

The themes being:

War
Underwater (Satan’s personal favourite)
Prison
Post-Apocalyptic

and
Outer Space
Satan just can't get enough of the Underwater Theme Room!


“Sound’s great, I love Hell!”

Great stuff, kid!

What else can I do?


There are so many activities that you can participate in during your days off and spare time!

You can ‘burn’ off those extra pounds in the Hellfire Gym.

Play a selection of your favourite sports and recreate in the Sport and Recreation Area.

And so much more!


So next time you’re thinking about repenting on your deathbed, remember this pamphlet and consider coming ‘down town’ to The Underworld.

Hell, it’s where all the cool people go when they die!


_____

No comments:

Post a Comment

Rebel Yellions

Rebel Yellions
Nobody can wear suits like us