Physics 2.0©

Are you sick and tired of the old saying 'what goes up must come down'?

Do you wish every action didn't have such an equal and opposite reaction?

Have you ever tried to disobey the Laws of Motion?

Well have no fear!

Physics 2.0© is here!

Rebel Yell scientists have just created Physics 2.0©! We had our scientists slaving away over warm beakers and reasonably cool microscopes and in a matter of minutes (and one 80's future themed montage later) Physics 2.0© was born.

(Mostly synth with a touch of sax)

"Sure, but how does it help me?" I hear you scream. Well Physics 2.0© is here to help you by making what some old fuddy duddies have deemed impossible!

 I'm looking at YOU, Newton.

Originally the scientists set out to create a gun with zero recoil, but it wasn't long into their research that it was deemed "impossible" under the suffocating laws of physics, set in place by the scholars of old.

This might of been a problem for a lesser nation, a weaker nation, a nation without moustaches and suspenders but it certainly wasn't a problem for Rebel Yell.

Our science team had a quick brainstorming session including mind maps, power point presentations, the lot.

It was then they came up with the idea of disposing of the out-of-date laws of physics and  made up their own.

 "Any ideas?"

 So, the impossible is now possible.

And again, Rebel Yell Nation has bucked the trend, said no to conformity, and done what we want.

Enjoy, 

- The Rebel Yell Science and Kite Surfing dept.

Scrappy sues Mystery Gang over breach of contract!

(Known for his violence scrappy has recently divorced his wife over recorded phone conversations)

For a long time Scrappy-Doo was part of our lives as a loveable extension to Scooby-Doos crew, the cousin of Scooby brought some much needed muscle to the mystery solving group. Relationships have turned sour as Fred recently stated that Scrappy will not be joining in on the new series, sighting him to be "the Jar Jar Binks of our show," and, "an over articulate  chihuahua who slept with my wife,"

Scrappy is suing the group but public opinion is not on his side, after many anti-semantic rants and condemning audio tape of spousal abuse Scrappy is an outcast in Hollywood. 

"He can't get another job, he never has, he only got buy supplying smack to Shaggy and the group has always resented him for that," Said the groups manager Irving Rothschild.

"They have no right to exclude me, I made that group and i want compensation, i don't think people will be interested in this new series without me," Said Scrappy in a brief press statement,

The hearing starts next year.

Scooby- Doo gang to announce reunion tour.

(Shaggy consuming food to cover his battle with heroin)

The Seventies were a vibrant time, a time of discos and punk, a time of disillusioned hippies and brown kitchen ware.

So when four hippies and their dog decided to move away from the hard drugs that characterized the early seventies, solving mysteries came naturally to them. "Once we came down off the LSD it didn't seem as good an idea as originally, but we had already painted the van," Said Velma, the only Lesbian in the group. 

The group then embarked on a extremely successful career spanning three decades,  their mystery solving credentials were never challenged and a lucrative reality television contract came after the first few successes. 

It wasn't all glamor though, while the rest of the group had kicked the drugs, Shaggy still battled with his personal addiction. "It was hard, he was clean whenever we were on the job, he would eat alot but thats normal when your trying to kick the habit, but as soon as the work stopped he would take Scooby someplace and get high, he was a classic addict." Said Fred, who is releasing an auto-biography within the year.

The group announced their return to the mystery solving scene a month ago,  "Money just slips through my fingers, what with this financial crisis man... i can't even afford Scooby snacks man," Said Shaggy.

Backing the Mystery Machine is a large Insurance company who have over ten thousand fraud cases to deal with each year, the Cameras will be following the guy's again but this time it will be much more slick.

"There's no more jamming, none of us will be picking up instruments, Scrappy won't be participating, he's filed suit but he hasn't got a leg to stand on, he can talk but he's still a dog," Said Daphne.

The first episode will screen on Fox in three months.

British using deformed spy to assassinate a Russian deformed spy.

(Yes, hilarious, they both have explosive devices that would kill everybody in a twenty meter radius, but hey who needs short range weaponry? )

It has been discovered that a British trained intelligence officer with a deformed triangle shaped face has been assigned to the task of counter intelligence operations surrounding a Russian spy with an equally deformed triangle face. These two very recognizable spies have been attempting to assassinate each other in  a very unorthodox manor for the intelligence community.
"It used to be that we would only attempt an assassination if we knew it would be successful, and only then with very discreet means, it seems strange that the FSB and M- I6 would choose to use explosives and anvils in their espionage training." Said former KGB officer Vladamir Ruskov.

The two spies blew their cover last Tuesday when the Russian spy was seen suspending a grand piano  over a busy footpath, when questioned by police he only made a high pitched noise before running away. It was then that the British spy was sent to capture him, when investigating the grand piano it fell from it's suspension and injured the M-I6 operative. Since Tuesday the two unsubtle spies have been having a brutal war with neither side giving up.

"Whats odd is both have sustained what i would think are fatal injuries, they are using high explosive traps and very close range, but it seems their horrible deformities deflect the blasts," stated a medical official.

One thing is for sure, these spies aren't funny.

Stu.

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