Physics 2.0©

Are you sick and tired of the old saying 'what goes up must come down'?

Do you wish every action didn't have such an equal and opposite reaction?

Have you ever tried to disobey the Laws of Motion?

Well have no fear!

Physics 2.0© is here!

Rebel Yell scientists have just created Physics 2.0©! We had our scientists slaving away over warm beakers and reasonably cool microscopes and in a matter of minutes (and one 80's future themed montage later) Physics 2.0© was born.

(Mostly synth with a touch of sax)

"Sure, but how does it help me?" I hear you scream. Well Physics 2.0© is here to help you by making what some old fuddy duddies have deemed impossible!

 I'm looking at YOU, Newton.

Originally the scientists set out to create a gun with zero recoil, but it wasn't long into their research that it was deemed "impossible" under the suffocating laws of physics, set in place by the scholars of old.

This might of been a problem for a lesser nation, a weaker nation, a nation without moustaches and suspenders but it certainly wasn't a problem for Rebel Yell.

Our science team had a quick brainstorming session including mind maps, power point presentations, the lot.

It was then they came up with the idea of disposing of the out-of-date laws of physics and  made up their own.

 "Any ideas?"

 So, the impossible is now possible.

And again, Rebel Yell Nation has bucked the trend, said no to conformity, and done what we want.

Enjoy, 

- The Rebel Yell Science and Kite Surfing dept.

Scrappy sues Mystery Gang over breach of contract!

(Known for his violence scrappy has recently divorced his wife over recorded phone conversations)

For a long time Scrappy-Doo was part of our lives as a loveable extension to Scooby-Doos crew, the cousin of Scooby brought some much needed muscle to the mystery solving group. Relationships have turned sour as Fred recently stated that Scrappy will not be joining in on the new series, sighting him to be "the Jar Jar Binks of our show," and, "an over articulate  chihuahua who slept with my wife,"

Scrappy is suing the group but public opinion is not on his side, after many anti-semantic rants and condemning audio tape of spousal abuse Scrappy is an outcast in Hollywood. 

"He can't get another job, he never has, he only got buy supplying smack to Shaggy and the group has always resented him for that," Said the groups manager Irving Rothschild.

"They have no right to exclude me, I made that group and i want compensation, i don't think people will be interested in this new series without me," Said Scrappy in a brief press statement,

The hearing starts next year.

Rebel Yell Studies presents... Microwave Time.

 Microwave Time.

Now i'm sure we're all aware of the saying 'Time flies when you're having fun' but never has the flip-side of this well known saying been so true as with Microwave Time. Never has 3 minutes taken as long as it has to cook those noodles. Rebel Yell studies will explain this phenomenom as we throw all previous flawed time theories out the window, sort of.

If microwaves were around back then, this is what Abe would look like waiting for his pizza to re-heat.

Micro-what?!

The Microwave Oven was brought to our homes in 1967. It was designed as an alternate and much faster way to eliminate Gremlins than the conventional oven. It has become a household standard these days for it's convenience and ease of use, you could just trap a Gremlin in it, set it to around 2 minutes (depending on the size) and BOOM, dead Gremlin. Alternatively you could heat up food in it.

They HATE microwaves. 

 Why are we waiting?

Now it is true that the Microwave will heat things up quicker than the conventional oven but, you see, the Microwave works on it's own alternate time. The minutes on a Microwave countdown are even slower than that of a watched clock. 

For example, if you are cooking a pie at 3 mintues in the Microwave, you have time to use the toliet, have a drink, check facebook and pace impatiently and will still have 1.50 left on the countdown, where as if you had 5 minutes untill you needed to leave the house, taking a slash and grabbing a drink will have you leaving 5 minutes late! 

 How it works, probably.

What does this mean?

In an attempt to harness the phenomenom that is Microwave Time, Rebel Yell Studies had someone go to bed with a microwave on his bed side table and upon waking setting it to 30 minutes to see if his sleep in felt much longer. However, the subject never got back to us.

So at the moment there is nothing we can do with this strange occurence, maybe sometime in the future in the year 2019, but until then lets all just respect the magical Microwave and enjoy a delicious Microwave pork roast!

Note; microwave roasts not reccomended.

What's so special about Newton?

Sir Issac Newton, he was a English physicist, mathematician, astronomer, natural philosopher, alchemist, and theologian (according to wikipedia anyway.) 

He is most commonly known for his discovery of gravity and his laws of motion.

Well, so what.
People praise him like he invented gravity, and many people actually think he did, but all he did was give something a name.

Gravity always existed, it wasn't like people were just floating around pre-5 July 1687, that's when he published Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica, in which he first discussed gravity. 

I'm aware the book discussed a few thoeries and such but did it have to have such a pretentious name, I mean what's wrong with Isaacs big book about stuff he reckons, it's almost as long and doesn't make him sound like such a jerk.

By now you're probably thinking;
"Well, sure, I guess he didn't really 'discover' gravity, but look at his laws of motion or all the other good work he did."


Well his laws of motion were more of the same! Just naming stuff that happens that nobody else cared enough about to give names to. Then drew a few formulas.


"So    and that's how the laws of motion work!"

Pfft, get stuffed Isaac, you jerk!


  And that's gravity... apparently!



What a jerk!

And as for his other stuff he did! Well I don't really know what else he did, hang on a tic while I look at wikipdeia for a bit.
Take look at the pretentious bastard while you wait.

Sure he had a formula for everything, but check out that beak!

Here's something  I bet you didn't know, he was born prematurely, he was a small child; his mother Hannah Ayscough reportedly said that he could have fit inside a quart mug! That's only about 1.1 litres! Yeah, that's right, your hero was a tiny weak child at one point. What he was doing inside of quart mugs is anyones guess, mine is that it was for some sleezy reason.

He was also once engaged in his late teens to a Miss Storey, but what happened of that? Who knows, I bet he broke the poor gal's heart. Some genius, sounds like a cold-hearted prick to me.

He never ended up married, believed to be asexual. Too good for anyone else by the sounds of things.

Theory of gravitation, 

Theory of colour binomial theorem, 

Theory of finite differences, 

Theorem of revolving orbits, 

Theory of the Moon's Motion

and many more.

He sure had a lot of theories but have at look at his hair! What a douche.

You couldn't theorise that rug pretty!

So in short, Sir (how pretentious) Isaac Newton, is a big jerk. 

I've no doubt opened your eyes about this fraud. Fraudulent in the way that he is made to look like a hero, but is really a bell-end, not in the way that he stole other peoples ideas (but he probably did.)

There.