Rebel Yell: Rebel Yell Studies presents...

The Lost Pick Theory.

Anyone who has ever played guitar, bass or other picked instrument will know the extreme frustration of dropping a pick, also known as a plectrum, and have it meld into the carpet or become lost deep under the bed/couch/desk. It is tortuous. The Lost Pick Theory, or LPT as it shall be referred to from now on, attempts to explain this painful phenomenon and it's workings.

LTP also explains the loss of any small dropped item, like; key's, remotes, nail clippers, mobile phones etc. The science is the same.

"Hang on, i'll just gra.. Oh what the fuck? I only just dropped it there!"

LTP

Stage 1: The Drop

The initial action of dropping the item is the most vital stage of the LPT. The position of landing and further movement is entirely dependant on one's vision of the object. If you are, at the time of dropping, looking at the item, said item will fall naturally and, more often than not, as expected. However, if said item is out of view, it will land in such a way that it will shoot off in a ridiculous fashion and continue on to the next stage.

LPT when item is in view

Stage 2: The Tumble

The tumble is the stage in which the item will venture forth from it's landing location. The item's size or weight has no bearing on it's tumble. Stress, frustration and necessity are the only relavent factors. If one is cool, calm, collected and/or in no hurry the tumble will be minor, however if the dropped item is your last pick, or something you need in a hurry, the tumble will be obscenely infuriating. The principal behind this is Murphy's Law (now officially deemed a 'science' in the Rebel Yell nation).

LTP when item is out of view

Stage 3: The Fumble

This stage only occurs after the fumble, and will not occur if the dropped item was in view. The fumble is the stage of trying to find where the dropped item has gotten too. It can last for quite a while depending on the victim. Though in most cases, accepting the loss is the most beneficial, health wise, solution as a tumbled pick will, 9 times out of 10, never be found again, and prolonged searching will only increase frustration and anger. Other dropped items will almost always show up, but will not be easily located.

"I seriorsly doubt it would be all the way out h... Oh, there it is."

The actual permanent loss of pick's can be determined by the sub-theorum; Chameleon Pick Theory, CPT. However this does only count for plectrums.

Chameleon Pick Theory

Picks are infamous for being invisible to the human eye when on carpet. This is because all picks have a chameleon gene, and are capeable of changing the colour of themselves to match the surrounding carpet. They are the only shaped plastic object capeable of such a feat, and probably the only non-sentient or non-programmed thing able to do it at all.