A brand new detective novel!

Rebel Yell is proud to announce yet another thrilling publication!
The Streets are melancholy  is an exiting piece of detective fiction !

It was a hot day in New Yorksburg, oppressively hot, so hot that all of the nineteen fifties people considered briefly wearing something other than suits and gangster hats. But they kept on wearing them anyway, it’s really important that you grasp that it’s hot. The fan in Dirk Doyle’s private eye office was straining to keep up with the hot, hot heat; it was somehow in the way of the light so it had a similar lighting effect as on a Ridley Scott film. Dirk was chewing on a cigar, or a toothpick, it was probably too hot to smoke. There was a knock on the door, from the other side of the door than Dirk so dirk couldn’t see who it was. It was an attractive woman, he saw this when she walked in, which she did sexily.

‘Are you Doyle?’ she asked.

‘Who wants to know?’

‘Me.’

‘And who are you?’

‘I’m Winona Kidman, I want you to follow my husband.’

‘If he’s anywhere near as sexy as you it looks like we have a case,’

So Dirk went to the woman’s husbands house, luckily he was getting in his car, which was green but that old kind of green that used to be in kitchens. Dirk followed him, there were some tense moments involving hiding his face behind a news-paper and standing next to a pole in the way that he became invisible to the followee. Soon Dirk followed until they arrived at a large warehouse, the kind for storing large boxes in. Dirk pulled out a cigarette and stuffed it into his pipe, he then loaded his revolver. Suddenly there was a knock on his car window. It was a bad guy, they fought after Dirk somehow got out of the car, Dirk won and extracted valuable information from the bad guy after some typically macho banter. 

Wow! This is so good that we can only sell a limited amount of copies!! buy now! $19.99

That guy.

Everyone knows 'that guy', he's the one who always takes it too far in every situation.

See, you've now just realized that you know a 'that guy'. 

"Fucksake, I just wanted a light"

Whether it be to start throwing punches in a wrestle, abuse a stranger or break a controller, 'that' guy' always takes it too far, anything you or someone normal has done and been silently deemed ok, or even maybe laughed at, 'that guy' see's it as his opportunity to increase his 'cool' standings within the group, but inevitably he takes things too far by instead of celebrating their winning hand in poker by cheering, they'll flip the table, break a window and take of their shirt, which has quite the opposite effect to had what they'd wanted to achieve, thus making them more 'un-cool' than not, which they will again try to get out of by taking something else to far. It's a vicious circle.

The mind of 'that guy' is a strange thing he see's victory in everything to be a step which he must climb to be cool, failure is something he can turn into a victory if he jokingly get's angry at his opponents and everyone has a laugh at how great 'that guy' is.

Unfortunately in reality his victory at all costs approach involves beating women and children at things like arm wrestling, eating more of something than anyone and spewing everywhere and loud abuse and/or touching you annoyingly until you give up. His ability to take things too far shines when ever he loses because in failure no one really thinks headbutting your opponent, smashing the tv and throwing the card deck out the window is all that funny but 'that guy' will do it anyway.

So if you're 'that guy' please think before you punch your keyboard or burp in someones face, that's actually HINDERING your chances of being liked.

But who am I kidding, you won't listen to this, anybody who's that guy is in worse denial than holocaust deniers.

And anybody who knows a 'that guy' (I know you all do) i'm sorry, but there's nothing short of rat poison tea and dumping the body in the ocean that can be done.

A breakdown of a night drinking.

Choose your own adventure!

Rebel Yell publishing is proud to announce it's latest master piece!
The Ghost in the Upside Down House on the Hill. A chilling choose your own adventure novel that will have you flipping back and forth in enthusiastic fear.

"You look down the corridor, there are several lighting fixtures coming up from the ground, this is because the house is upside down. Suddenly a ghost starts moving gradually towards you."
If you pull out your crucifix and attempt an exorcism turn to page 153.
If you tell the ghost to do it to your friend Julia turn the George Orwell's 1984
If you suddenly realise you are impervious to ghost venom turn to page 3.
If you duck to the door on your left turn to page 56.


Chilling stuff! Be careful though each choice has dire consequences!!
The Ghost in the Upside Down House on the Hill $29.99