Physics 2.0©

Are you sick and tired of the old saying 'what goes up must come down'?

Do you wish every action didn't have such an equal and opposite reaction?

Have you ever tried to disobey the Laws of Motion?

Well have no fear!

Physics 2.0© is here!

Rebel Yell scientists have just created Physics 2.0©! We had our scientists slaving away over warm beakers and reasonably cool microscopes and in a matter of minutes (and one 80's future themed montage later) Physics 2.0© was born.

(Mostly synth with a touch of sax)

"Sure, but how does it help me?" I hear you scream. Well Physics 2.0© is here to help you by making what some old fuddy duddies have deemed impossible!

 I'm looking at YOU, Newton.

Originally the scientists set out to create a gun with zero recoil, but it wasn't long into their research that it was deemed "impossible" under the suffocating laws of physics, set in place by the scholars of old.

This might of been a problem for a lesser nation, a weaker nation, a nation without moustaches and suspenders but it certainly wasn't a problem for Rebel Yell.

Our science team had a quick brainstorming session including mind maps, power point presentations, the lot.

It was then they came up with the idea of disposing of the out-of-date laws of physics and  made up their own.

 "Any ideas?"

 So, the impossible is now possible.

And again, Rebel Yell Nation has bucked the trend, said no to conformity, and done what we want.

Enjoy, 

- The Rebel Yell Science and Kite Surfing dept.

Scrappy sues Mystery Gang over breach of contract!

(Known for his violence scrappy has recently divorced his wife over recorded phone conversations)

For a long time Scrappy-Doo was part of our lives as a loveable extension to Scooby-Doos crew, the cousin of Scooby brought some much needed muscle to the mystery solving group. Relationships have turned sour as Fred recently stated that Scrappy will not be joining in on the new series, sighting him to be "the Jar Jar Binks of our show," and, "an over articulate  chihuahua who slept with my wife,"

Scrappy is suing the group but public opinion is not on his side, after many anti-semantic rants and condemning audio tape of spousal abuse Scrappy is an outcast in Hollywood. 

"He can't get another job, he never has, he only got buy supplying smack to Shaggy and the group has always resented him for that," Said the groups manager Irving Rothschild.

"They have no right to exclude me, I made that group and i want compensation, i don't think people will be interested in this new series without me," Said Scrappy in a brief press statement,

The hearing starts next year.

Scooby- Doo gang to announce reunion tour.

(Shaggy consuming food to cover his battle with heroin)

The Seventies were a vibrant time, a time of discos and punk, a time of disillusioned hippies and brown kitchen ware.

So when four hippies and their dog decided to move away from the hard drugs that characterized the early seventies, solving mysteries came naturally to them. "Once we came down off the LSD it didn't seem as good an idea as originally, but we had already painted the van," Said Velma, the only Lesbian in the group. 

The group then embarked on a extremely successful career spanning three decades,  their mystery solving credentials were never challenged and a lucrative reality television contract came after the first few successes. 

It wasn't all glamor though, while the rest of the group had kicked the drugs, Shaggy still battled with his personal addiction. "It was hard, he was clean whenever we were on the job, he would eat alot but thats normal when your trying to kick the habit, but as soon as the work stopped he would take Scooby someplace and get high, he was a classic addict." Said Fred, who is releasing an auto-biography within the year.

The group announced their return to the mystery solving scene a month ago,  "Money just slips through my fingers, what with this financial crisis man... i can't even afford Scooby snacks man," Said Shaggy.

Backing the Mystery Machine is a large Insurance company who have over ten thousand fraud cases to deal with each year, the Cameras will be following the guy's again but this time it will be much more slick.

"There's no more jamming, none of us will be picking up instruments, Scrappy won't be participating, he's filed suit but he hasn't got a leg to stand on, he can talk but he's still a dog," Said Daphne.

The first episode will screen on Fox in three months.

British using deformed spy to assassinate a Russian deformed spy.

(Yes, hilarious, they both have explosive devices that would kill everybody in a twenty meter radius, but hey who needs short range weaponry? )

It has been discovered that a British trained intelligence officer with a deformed triangle shaped face has been assigned to the task of counter intelligence operations surrounding a Russian spy with an equally deformed triangle face. These two very recognizable spies have been attempting to assassinate each other in  a very unorthodox manor for the intelligence community.
"It used to be that we would only attempt an assassination if we knew it would be successful, and only then with very discreet means, it seems strange that the FSB and M- I6 would choose to use explosives and anvils in their espionage training." Said former KGB officer Vladamir Ruskov.

The two spies blew their cover last Tuesday when the Russian spy was seen suspending a grand piano  over a busy footpath, when questioned by police he only made a high pitched noise before running away. It was then that the British spy was sent to capture him, when investigating the grand piano it fell from it's suspension and injured the M-I6 operative. Since Tuesday the two unsubtle spies have been having a brutal war with neither side giving up.

"Whats odd is both have sustained what i would think are fatal injuries, they are using high explosive traps and very close range, but it seems their horrible deformities deflect the blasts," stated a medical official.

One thing is for sure, these spies aren't funny.

Stu.

Buy our crap.

The Rebel Yell Nation now has merchandise.

Support Rebel Yell in it's rise to power with a snappy new tee or maybe even a beer glass!

The choice is yours! (The choice not to buy is not.)

You can browse the shop by clicking here! or here!

http://www.zazzle.com/rebel_yell_nation

Buy our stuff today!

 

The Magic of Rebel Yell.

The Rebel Yell Nation is known for many things, it's Space Program, The National Moustache Museum, The Worlds Largest Hammer, etc.

A true national monument.

But I bet you didn't know Rebel Yell is home to some of the most amazing magicians of all time.

With names like Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu, John 'The Magician' Smith (one the most creative and exciting magicians of all time, R.I.P, keep on chasing rainbows) and The King of the Wizards all residing here. It's no wonder that on the underground magician scene they call this place the 'Rebel Yell Nation'.

 

A brief history of Magic in Rebel Yell Nation.

In the early years of the Rebel Yell Nation any one found or believed to be practising magic was burned at the stake and had their ashes thrown into a swamp.

It wasn't until Sir. I. C. Nowe discovered that behind all this 'magic' was just sleight of hand and trickery, that the burning and ash-swamping law was changed. Now anyone found or believed to be practising is just avoided.

The burnings were quite the spectacle, often they would make the magicians wear a silly hat for more laughs.

Famous Magicians.

Rebel Yell, after the magician burning law was changed, became a quite famous for it's magicians when John 'The Magician' Smith burst onto the scene with his Coin-in-my-pocket trick, in which he would astound audiences by putting his hand into his pocket and removing a single coin. He would perform this on street corners to groups of people until he was found by entertainment manager Nerben Blampin, who despite his made up name, managed a few popular acts around Rebel Yell. It wasn't long before John Smith was performing in front of crowds of 10 or more. He had a large repertoire of magical tricks, but his signature was always his classic Coin-in-my-pocket trick, which to this day, knowboady can work out how he did it.

Out of his pocket! Can you believe it?

However, John Smith wans't the only famous magician to call Rebel Yell home, as previously mention Gremlin Gates, Pazuzu and The King of the Wizards all lived and worked in Rebel Yell. 

Gremlin famous for his dissapearing-pants routine, Pazuzu, his ability to drive manual cars without a license and the King of the Wizards famous for his work in the superb rock band, Sorcery.

The King of the Wizards mid-performance.

Magic has had a long and charred history in The Rebel Yell Nation, and it will has a longer future, unless of course another burning-magicians law is passed, and we can only hope.

Thanks for reading, 

Rebel Yell - Firearms, Alcohol, Tobacco and Magician History dept.


____

Rebel Yell Justice! Have you seen this man?

NAME: Jesus Christ

OFFENSES: Terrorism, Fraud, Stealing by receiving and being the leader of a gang conspiring to commit crimes against the Roman Government. 

In his last days Jesus was a paranoid captain of a sinking ship, his whole operation falling around him "one of you will betray me" he said wildly at the last feast of the famous thirteen. Judas, a former member of the group is now a state witness, "He was losing the plot, he thought we could bring the Government down in Jerusalem, I knew we were fucked, it was him or me." 

Jesus was amassing a serious following but made crucial errors by way of his ego. "The son of god? king of the Jews? it's like that Beatles thing" said a former follower. When Jesus was apprehended a whole garrison was required to take him in, only one soldier suffered injuries, loosing an ear in a scuffle with a close disciple of Jesus'. 

Jesus was tried not by the Roman Government but by his own people who found him guilty on all counts. He was Crucified. We didn't know who we were dealing with. In an oceans eleven style ruse, Jesus was given heart slowing medication before being removed from the cross by guards on the inside of his operation. After a time of rest he had the boulder removed from his tomb and escaped. He was reported floating up to the heavens some weeks later. Some few hundred years later he was seen again, this time in Rome, he is believed to have killed Emperor Constantine and posed as him converting the entire empire to his will. Without the support of their various pagan gods the Roman way of life collapsed. 

Jesus is still a threat to your way of life, he has more followers now than he ever did, his corruption can invade your sexual freedoms, your sense of humor, your right to party which the beastie boys career died for, if you know anything about him please phone us at Rebel, Rome, we will avenge you.